Author: Old Man’s Wife

Price: $1.79 at Grocery Outlet

Calories per can: 280

Sodium: 100mg

6g of protein.

Does not require a can opener.

This was my first time trying canned oysters, so I was a bit nervous. I knew to expect a different experience than fresh oysters. I prepared a charcuterie board to pair with these, adorned with crackers, habanero pepper cheese, and a dip made with cream cheese, capers, Frank’s red hot sauce, and worsenshire sauce. I will not be trying to correctly spell worsenshire sauce, sorry. 

Once my board was prepared, I decided to dive in head first and try one of the oysters plain. It wasn’t especially chewy or muscley, but instead just rather mushy. The smoked flavor was apparent but not overbearing. The salt levels were satisfactory. The flavor was pleasant, but the texture was off-putting. I tried it along with a cracker, coated in my beautiful cream cheese concoction. Here is where it really shined, because the crunchy nature of the cracker outshined the lackluster texture of the oyster, and the oyster seemed to unify seamlessly with the dip to create a pleasant celebration on my taste buds. 

Next, I was excited to dig into the vegetables that were also included in the tin. I didn’t pick up on the taste of them in the oysters very much, but thought the vegetables were likely to have a complex and rich flavor profile after having been sat alongside the oysters. I saw a few carrots and red peppers, and decided to go for a carrot first. To my dismay, when I took a bite, it turned to mush almost instantaneously in my mouth. The flavor was akin to a mixture of oil and fish fat. There seemed to be no salt on the carrot somehow, despite the saltiness of the oysters. I didn’t partake in the other vegetables in the tin after that lackluster experience. 

Upon reading other reviews for this can online, I found mixed opinions. I know this is supposed to be my review, but to quote Tralania H, “1/5 stars. 

So much sand

Depending on the quality, most times I find sand in the can, just a little and not too much to complain about. The can I had this go around actually made me stop what I was doing and come running to the internet. The oysters themselves were so mushy and gritty at the same time. The vegetables in the can felt like they were there just to mask the off flavor of the oysters. This product missed the mark, especially in comparison with some of the other smoked products. I’m certain someone has a job within the company for quality assurance and control. This experience left me feeling like the person with that job stole money from me. Standards have to at least match the strong company name.”

Overall, I would give this tin a 3/10. I would not eat this tin on its own, due to the terrible texture, but utilized in a dip or a dish these oysters get the job done.